aseaofquotes:

Naguib Mahfouz, Sugar Street

aseaofquotes:

Naguib Mahfouz, Sugar Street

veruca-assault:

ms-kawesome:

The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.

I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.

thatsmoderatelyraven:

This is amazing

thatsmoderatelyraven:

This is amazing

The Borowitz Report: Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail

newyorker:

“Speaking at the White House before this week’s NATO summit, a visibly furious Obama said that Putin’s new practice of letting his calls go straight to voice mail ‘hampers our ability to discuss the future of Ukraine and other important issues going forward.’”

Read more: http://nyr.kr/1x5SVky

Photograph by Ron Sachs/Getty

thegirlwithgoldeyes:

imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread

later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”

keepingupwithunstuck:

It’s hard for me to be around people who don’t respect women and Harry potter

inspired by [x]

C’mon babe. Why don’t we paint the town?

krampuslips:

foxes are the most important animals on earth

krampuslips:

foxes are the most important animals on earth

I know Alone well,
we have spent years together.
It’s time for goodbye.

thenotoriousscuttlecliff:

Helena and Alison would make an ideal assassination duo. Helena does the killing while Alison does the cleaning.