WAIT WERE ADAM AND EVE EVEN MARRIED
OH MY GOD
THE BIBLE JUST COLLAPSED ON ITSELF
npr:
In the age-old battle between book and bath, man has tried many things: the reading tray, the conveniently placed towel, the waterproof page. An eight-year-old has gone one better.
The next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates? — tanya b.
How did it take sooooo many years for this to become a reality??
“I’m getting tired of making insects that just hatch, eat, mate, and die.”
“Well, what else are they supposed to do? Seems like you’ve hit all the major requirements there, evolution.”
“I don’t know, something more interesting.”
“Like what?”
“Like maybe hatch underground, putter around down there for 17 years, emerge in massive swarms that tear through the countryside and dive-bomb weddings and generally freak everyone the hell out for a while, and then eat, mate, and die.”
“Hm. ‘Interesting’ is one word for that.”
“I can see it now. The 17-year cicadas: Just when you thought you could forget.”
“That’s ridiculous. You watch too many movies.”
“BZZZ, motherf—ers! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
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people:
any guy would be lucky to have you
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me:
who is this any guy you speak of, bring him forth
“are you my mummy?”
“bitch i might be”
“What I would try to communicate about tea is that it can console you, it can start your day. There’s the warmth and the ritual- and you can share it! You make someone a cup of tea. You offer it to them, and you give it to them.” (via Matt Smith on Victoria Wood’s Nice Cup of Tea)
this was shared by a friend on facebook in reference to the heroic acts of Charles Ramsey and the way he quickly became a meme
Charles Ramsey and the troubling viral trend of the ‘hilarious’ black neighbor
“Charles Ramsey, the man who helped rescue three Cleveland women presumed dead after going missing a decade ago, has become an instant Internet meme. It’s hardly surprising—the interviews he gave yesterday provide plenty of fodder for a viral video, including memorable soundbites (“I was eatin’ my McDonald’s”) and lots of enthusiastic gestures. But as Miles Klee and Connor Simpson have noted, Ramsey’s heroism is quickly being overshadowed by the public’s desire to laugh at and autotune his story, and that’s a shame.Ramsey has become the latest in a fairly recent trend of “hilarious” black neighbors, unwitting Internet celebrities whose appeal seems rooted in a “colorful” style that is always immediately recognizable as poor or working-class.”
